Older Now
by lazypeaches
Summary: Mitchie's older now, but is she old enough to handle re entering her past?


I laced my sneakers by the front door. The sun was shining through the glass. I could already tell today was a beautiful day, and god knows I needed that. It had been a long winter since I got back from studying abroad in Australia this December. Let's just say it's not easy going from there to my small American beach town where it's only warm about five months out of the whole year. And I must say our warm is nothing like the beautiful Australian weather I had grown so use to studying out there for two years.

I threw the door to my small cottage open, immediately the smell of the ocean hit my nose, it was defiantly a smell I missed. I wasn't use to having warm weather on my runs here, all winter long I bundled up as much as I could, covering my face with a wind mask just to get the run in. I started stretching on the small patch of grass I had, then immediately started. Running was my way of clearing my mind. I loved being able to forget everything while I focused on my breathing, footsteps and the nature around me. I made it a routine to run every morning. I can proudly say I only broke that routine once or twice because of a rough hangover or really rainy weather, and I don't intend to break it again. Running wasn't something I decided to start myself, it was actually suggested by my therapist. I have been going to my therapist for three years now. While I was in Australia we did weekly video chats for an hour, she knows me better then I know myself sometimes. She said I needed a way to clear my mind. After numerous suggestions like meditation failed she finally mentioned running.

I kept at a steady pace while taking my normal route, up the side of the beach, down to the local coffee shop and back. It was only a little over four miles, but it was enough for me. I had therapy today, I was excited to report back to her about how well I've been keeping up my running and also how gorgeous it was for me today. But I'm sure that will be just a short conversation compared to what else we had to cover.

Like clockwork I turned at the coffee shop and headed back. Families carrying their beach chairs started emerge from their beach front homes. I decided to keep a mental note: start my runs earlier to avoid the beach mobs. This something I didn't have to worry about when it was the middle of the winter.

Once I reached my house I quickly stripped my running shorts and bra off. I walked to my bathroom and turned the water on. I checked my cell phone to see that I only had an hour before my therapy appointment. Luckily the office where we met was only 15 minutes away. The water was still a little cold when I hopped into the shower. I didn't really have much time to wait for it to get warm. I lathered my body in soap while running shampoo in my hair. I'm sure I mixed a little of the two with how fast I was going, hopefully that isn't too bad for your hair. I quickly took a razor to my legs and under arms. Once I was sure all the soap was off my body I climbed out of the shower, turning it off as I moved out. 

I dried my hair quickly with a towel then started to apply foundation to my face. I continued with eyeliner then decided that it was enough makeup considering I was going to still have wet hair and messy clothes at the appointment. I quickly made my way to my room. On upon entering I tripped over a pair of shoes that laid at the door, probably from the last time I was running late. I threw on band shirt that I tucked into high waisted shorts. I slipped on white vans and quickly made my way out the door.

I walked down the side walk and to my car. It was nothing pretty, just an old 2003 Jaguar I had been given from my grandpa on my 17th birthday. It took almost a year to get the smell of mothballs out if it, but it got me from place to place and that's all I really cared about. I drove down the road slowly, I didn't want to hit any of the eager beach goers. I had a nervous feeling in my stomach. This was my first time talking to my therapist face to face for almost two years. When I got home a few months back we continued video chatting because she had to fit my back into her normal appointment schedule. This week was the first she could fit me in. I feel like I've gotten much older since the last she physically saw me, but I guess she'll be the judge of that.

I pulled into the parking spot closest to the building, I may like running but any other chance I get I do least amount of walking as possible. I opened the door the office and sat in the big blue chairs around the waiting room. Before I knew it my therapist opened the door to her office.

"Mitchie!" she yelled while running towards me with her arms open.

I returned the hug "It's nice to finally see you, well I mean in person not my laptop I mean" I laughed while following her into her office.

"Okay well we have a lot to talk about today" She motioned me to sit in the seat across from her.

I sat down taking a look at my surroundings. Not much has changed since I was here last. Actually if my memory is correct the room looks exactly the same, not a picture out of place. "So tell me Mitchie how have you adapted being back here in the states?"

I pressed my tongue to the outside of my lip and thought, " I really can't say it's been terrible, I think I like it there more than here, I wake up some mornings and still think I'm there, but once I see the white hardwood floor in my bedroom I realize I'm not."

"Does this upset you? Realizing you're not there?" she asked.

I was rather shocked that we jumped straight to questions, but this is a therapist appointment I guess that's what she's paid to do. "I mean in a way it upsets me because if I was in Australia still id probably have a really adventurous day planned with all the people I had met there. When I'm here it's like back to normal, I've been her my whole life I feel like theirs more obligations where you actually live, like work, and seeing people you know even if you don't feel like it." I explained. And that was the truth, going to college in Australia was the best choice I ever made. It was a fresh start, I wasn't pressured to do things I didn't want to, and I had saved money my entire four years of high school just for studying out there so I had no need for a job. I made friends with really cool people and there was nothing complicated about it, no one was friends with people I didn't like from school because I didn't know anyone.

"Well that's life Mitchie, if you decided to live in Australia forever eventually this place that seemed like paradise to you would have become home, and sooner than you'd even know it that place would feel just like here, just a different job and different people you didn't want to see."

She had a point, I hate that she always has one. "That's true, but maybe since I'm older now I'd know how to handle situations better. Maybe if I had stayed out there I wouldn't have made a reason to avoid anyone. Of course it would just become my life, but maybe it would be a better one" 

She paused and nodded. "That's true. And that's for you to decide. For right now you live here. You're an American citizen and that's really all their is to it. If you really feel that way look up ways to go out to Australia for good. But as of now you have to deal with life here." She paused. "Now let me ask you, have you seen her since you got back?" 

I knew exactly who she was talking about when she said her. I didn't expect to bring her up so quickly. "I haven't seen her." I replied. 

"Do you plan to?" She questioned. 

I pressed my tongue to my cheek, I hadn't mentioned to my therapist that I had spoken to her while I was in Australia. I also clearly hadn't mentioned that she would be my roommate in only a few weeks. "I mean I don't really have a choice." 

"Whys that?" She asked. She was probably confused why I complain so much about trying to avoid seeing people from my past and here I am saying I don't have a choice but to do so. 

"Well you see we kept a little contact while I was away, well she was away too, California to be exact. She's coming back from school at the end of the month and I sort of agreed to let her be my roommate. I mean she's paying half the rent though, so it's less stress on me to meet the bills each month." I ended with a half-witted smile. 

"Oh wow Mitchie" she shook her head and breathed in. "Are you sure this is good for you? I really didn't expect to hear this." 

"I mean it's half the rent off my shoulders" I laughed. 

She didn't seem to find it funny. "Mitchie I'm not sure if I'm understanding you. You have been explaining all session that you want to get away from your past, but now you're inviting your past to live with you. And not just any part of your past, the part you have stressed continuously to be the most painful." 

"I mean we already decided that if it doesn't work within a month she's out. She was my best friend before anything, I can't have her come home and have nowhere to live regardless of what we have gone through" I explained. 

She nodded and checked the clock against the wall. "I hate to have to end it here Mitchie but my next appointment is probably already outside waiting. Well pick it up next week right where we left off" 

I nodded and stood up, "okay, I'll see you next week"

I walked out the door feeling more defeated then I could have possibly imagined. Although my therapist had a point, why do I still feel like I'm doing the right thing? I sat in my car and took a deep breath. Would having her be my roommate bring back old feelings or memories I was ready to bring forward? Were older now. Those are in the distant past at this point, were both college graduates, is a high school relationship really able to bring back such strong emotions?

**That's it for now! What did you think? I'm sure you all know who "her" is lol. But what do you think happened in the past between them? Reviews would be amazing! ****  
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